The Number 1 Question You NEED to Ask your Wife

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Pastor IV Marsh, founder of Becoming Man is on a mission to reverse the current trend in our culture and take men on a journey of self-discovery and self-mastery. I recently got to talk to him, and in the latest episode of Raising the Standard, he breaks down the requirements to display the attributes of Christ as elite Kingdom-driven men: Prophet, Priest, King, and Warrior.

Listen to the show to find out more about what we mean by that.

There are many takeaways from the nearly-hour long episode, but there were a few key takeaways I don’t want you to miss, starting with the internal. 



If You Want to Change Your Life, You Have to Change From the Inside First 

At some point, the excuses you’re telling yourself are not valid. They don’t carry the weight to justify what you’re creating or what you’re allowing to be created.

One of the best pieces of advice we can give you is you if want to change your life, then change your internal story; until you do, you will keep writing that same story in your mind, and that story’s gonna be manifested into your life. 

The bad news that same story will also be written and also into your son and daughter’s lives and into your grandchildren’s life.

That’s a law, and we have to back off of that and change the story. 


Beware The Three-legged Stool of Discipleship 

Most people try to just have good theology, well, good theology stacked on bad psychology and physiology is going to fall every time you put weight on it. You can have got great psychology, but bad theology, and you’re gonna die. It’s, you have to have physiology, psychology, and theology simultaneously poured to a man’s life and that will help make holistic person. 

How do I know if my story’s messed up? How do I know if I’m self-sabotaging?

The best place is to have the humility and willingness to pause, look at your life and have a sober grading of it.

The Most Dangerous Life for a Man is a good Life 

You may be thinking to yourself, “this is the best life I’ve ever lived. I mean, I’m better than my Dad, better than my Granddad; My wife and I were not having an affair. I only look at porn every now and then. I mean, and I used to look at it every night, I only drink every so often and I’m not getting tanked, and I’m providing for my family.” 

Listen, that’s, that’s a good life. It’s not terrible.But what has happened is in your settling for good you have been robbed of greater

So a good life is incredibly dangerous

If you’re married, sit down and ask your wife this question:

Do you feel deeply loved by me?

NOT do you know I love you? Because she’s a woman. 

Ask her. 

We’ve got to learn to ask the right questions. Ask your wife to be as honest I want you to be as honest as she can possibly be. Don’t hold anything back. 

Do you feel deeply loved by me?

And the answer you get is the indication of the gap between good and great. If you have kids, ask them the same question. 

“Do you feel like I care about you? Do you feel like I value spending time with you? Do you feel like I’m equipping you to be a better person?”

And the answer you get is the gap between good and great. 

Ask some of your buddies. 

“Hey man, do you feel like I care about you more than I care about myself?” 

Whoever your best dude friend is, ask him that question. When he pauses for three seconds, no matter what comes out of his mouth, the truth was in the pause.

Listen to the entire episode for the rest IV Marsh’s conversation with me in context.

If you are constantly fighting through the GAP between where you are called to be and where you find yourself today and want to upgrade your environment, make sure to join the Unfair Advantage email challenge.





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